Equal and Opposite

There are a number of people in my life who have very abrasive personalities. They are just by nature domineering, controlling and think they are always right. If you don’t agree with them, they get increasingly shrill and then eventually sulk and make life miserable for people around them.

My reaction to these people is to get pissed off. Get mad. Don’t agree with them no matter what. It doesn’t matter if their suggestion or advise is sound; because they say it, it is wrong. Plain and simple. This makes the situation worse but I find it difficult to stop myself. They are obnoxious so why should I listen to them or let them have their way? They like to walk all over people so isn’t agreeing with them letting them walk all over people?

I was thinking of this yesterday and started thinking about Newton’s third law of motion, stated here in layman’s terms (from Wikipedia): Third Law: “To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

Equal and opposite reaction. So, what does this mean? If someone is being obnoxious, I should be nice. The more obnoxious, the more nice. I can see that. It says in the Bible, Romans 12:20: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Hmmm…burning coals. If someone is being rude, be nice. It will be like heaping burning coals on their head. But isn’t that vengeful….in a nice way? If you are doing it because you are naturally a nice person, then it is ok. If you are doing it to make them feel bad, isn’t that a sin? I don’t know. Probably need to ask my pastor about that one.

Then there is the problem of letting them walk all over people. If you give the opposite reaction to them, then you should let them have their way. That would just drive me insane. To let them get their way all the time would let them think they are right and it would make us “nice” people into doormats. That can’t be right.

There must be more to this dilemma. There must be a way to treat rude and abrasive people without stooping to their level yet not treat them nice for the wrong motive or letting them walk all over you. I think this is something I’m going to have to think about. A true learning experience. Hopefully I will figure this out before I am really rude to someone and make matters worse. Hopefully.