A Certain Regret

I am reading a book by Maya Angelou entitled “Letter to My Daughter”. It is a collection of little essays/stories that she has written to her daughter. The thing is, Ms. Angelou does not have a daughter. She has a son, who she is immensely proud of (as she should be) but no daughters. She says in the front of the book that she gave birth to one child, a son, but she has thousands of daughters. She writes this book to women. And is is wonderful!!

I have a certain regret in my life. Yeah, I know there are some people who say they have no regrets. I used to try to say that but I always knew I wasn’t being truly honest because I do have regret in my life. Things I wish I had said and didn’t. Things that I have said and wish I hadn’t. Things I wish I would have done but didn’t (for a variety of reasons) and things I wish I had never done but did. This is a regret that comes to mind and it has to do with Maya Angelou.

The college I went to had a wonderful opportunity every Friday morning called Forum. Forum was held most Fridays in the theater and was talks/speeches given by speakers the school brought in. This Forum was completely optional. No one was required to attend but it was highly recommended. Since it was held in the theater, it shows that not everyone took advantage of this opportunity. If the whole school attended, it would have to be held in the auditorium. I know this because when Frank Zappa came to speak, they not only held it in the auditorium to fit everyone but they held it in the evening so that everyone could attend. But, otherwise, it was held Friday morning and in the theater.

I would attend Forum maybe once or twice a month. If I didn’t recognize the name of the speaker or the subject didn’t sound interesting, I would just stay home, sleep in and show up on campus around noon for my first class.

One week I checked the schedule and Maya Angelou was scheduled to speak. I had never heard of her and I didn’t bother to ask anyone who she was or if it would be worth attending. The subject was something about her being a poet or something and that didn’t really intrigue me. So I slept in. Skipped it. I showed up on campus at noon and went to the student union to get something to drink before heading to class. The union was practically buzzing with excitement. EVERYONE was talking about how wonderful Maya Angelou had been that morning. How fascinating. How well spoken. What an incredible speaker!! I asked a friend, “who is Maya Angelou?”. She told me. “Oh”, I said and headed off to class. Kicking myself the whole way. How stupid could I be? What was I thinking? I missed one of the best speakers they ever brought on campus? I was instantly filled with regret and have felt regret about it ever since.

This all comes to mind because I am reading her book. WOW! She can tell such a story in only a few short pages. Each little story is so complete unto itself yet all of it is telling the story of her life. It is wonderful!! SHE is wonderful!!

Regret, regret, regret. Even now, years later, I am regretting sleeping in that morning. I should have gone to hear her speak. I can’t believe I made that mistake. Regret The only thing that would make me feel better is that if I ever have the opportunity to hear Maya Angelou speak, I make sure I am first in line. I would still feel regret but at least I would be able to say I heard a speech by an incredible woman, writer and speaker.

PS: If you can get your hands on this book, read it. Something to read slowly and savor. It will touch your soul.