Aunt Mildred

A whole generation of my family is now gone. My cousin called me last night to let me know that Aunt Mildred passed away on Thursday night. Apparently she had a massive stroke and, even though they worked on her at the hospital, she didn’t make it. Aunt Mildred had heart problems (as do a lot of people in the family) but this was still unexpected and sudden. Not that she was young. She was Dad’s older sister and Dad would have been 84 this year. But I know people who are in their 90’s so anyone dying younger than that seems like someone is dying too young.

As I said, a whole generation is gone. My dad’s family died in reverse order of birth. Aunt Cindy, the youngest, died first in the early 1980’s of liver cancer. Uncle Pete, the second youngest, died next, in the 1990’s, of a blood clot. Dad, the middle child, died next in 2003 of complications from diabetes. Aunt Charis, the second oldest, died last year and now Aunt Mildred, who was the oldest. As my cousin pointed out, that is the last of that generation for my dad’s side of the family. I still have aunts and uncles on my mom’s side of the family but that impacts me and not my cousin.

Out of all of my dad’s brothers and sisters, I think I was closest to Aunt Mildred. She always wrote me letters and appreciated any letters I wrote in return. She appreciated them more when I actually wrote them by hand but I type faster than I can write so I would usually type them up and just write out the “Love, Julie” at the end.

Aunt Mildred also came to visit when Dad was living with me. I think she came up a total of four times. The first time was because, according to a cardiologist Dad saw for a while, his heart was so enlarged and damaged he could die at any time. Of course this doctor was wrong considering not only did Dad live years after this diagnosis, he didn’t die from his heart failing and his heart beat for a good 50 minutes after he stopped breathing. But, because she wanted to see him before he died, Aunt Mildred came up from Florida for a visit.

She came back about a year later so she could take care of Dad while I had a little break. I went to stay at a friend’s house in New Hampshire which was wonderful for everyone. Dad and Aunt Mildred were able to spend time visiting and I had a break from the 24/7 job of caring for someone who had serious health issues.

The next time she came to visit, I was able to fly out to Michigan and visit my mom and sister. Then we loaded a bunch of stuff in a U-Haul and my sister and I drove it from Michigan back to Maine. That was also a nice break for me because I was able to see my Mom after having not being able to visit her for a number of years and I was able to spend time with my sister without anyone else around. Just her and I in a U-Haul truck telling stories and laughing and just having a blast.

The last time Aunt Mildred came up from Florida to visit, we were pretty sure Dad was close to death. His kidneys were failing and, rather than have him go through dialysis to prolong his life for maybe six miserable months, we chose to just let nature take it’s course and let him die in peace without being poked at all the time. His dementia was such that he wouldn’t have understood why he was having to have dialysis and he was pretty depressed and miserable at this point anyway. He knew there was something wrong with him but he didn’t know what it was and didn’t understand what was going on. So I called Aunt Mildred and she came up for one final time. The night she arrived, we ended up having to put Dad in the hospital and she spent the last week of his life sitting by his bed and helping me with the final decisions that had to be made. She was sitting with me the evening of February 7, 2003 while we sat waiting for his heart to stop after he stopped breathing and she was able to say good-bye to her little brother before graciously leaving the room so I could say good-bye to my father in private.

Aunt Mildred was a wonderfully supportive and incredibly caring aunt for not only me but all of us in this generation. She was a godly woman who gave so much of her life to serving others from raising her kids to helping at her church to volunteering for a number of community activities. She loved to read and learn so much that when she retired, she went back to college to get her degree. For no other reason than she could. I will miss her so much and feel really sad that she is gone.  But I do know that she had incredible faith and that she and Dad, Mom, Grandpa, Grandma, Aunt Charis, Uncle Pete and Aunt Cindy are having a wonderful family reunion in heaven.

One last thing about Aunt Mildred…during WWII, Dad served in the navy and Aunt Mildred served in the Marines.  There was a picture I found one day among the family pictures and I asked Dad about it.  He said that on his way to the Pacific during the war, he met up with Aunt Mildred in San Francisco and they had this picture taken.  I think it was a way to commemorate their visit and to remember each other in case something terrible happened to one of them.  Anyway, here is the picture.  Dad and Aunt Mildred during WWII:

Rest in peace, Aunt Mildred!  We will miss you!