Politeness

When does being polite become an inconvenience? Well, I’ll tell you.  When one’s garbage smells and you want to take it out but the trash cans are still at the curb!

Let me explain. I live in a house that is divided into four apartments. We share two large garbage bins and two large recyclable bins, which are provided by the town. For years, I was the one who regularly hauled them to the curb and then brought them back on trash day. Granted other people did it but I would say I did it 75% of the time. That is until my most recent neighbors moved in.

The neighbor in the front apartment on the first floor moved in and, after learning the trash pickup day and how the town provides these big bins on wheels, she said that she would be sure to take her turn in hauling them. And she did. The other tenants still were a little uncooperative in this department but then they moved out and were no longer an issue. For quite a while, my neighbor and I were the only two tenants so we just switched off taking the trash out.

Then a new neighbor moved in above me. Let’s call him Mick. Mick is a very nice divorced dad of two teenage kids. He had lived here before, reconciled with his wife and moved back in with her. A few years later and he is back. They ended up divorcing and the apartment he had lived in was available again.

About two weeks after he moved in, I was starting to haul the trash bins down to the curb when he stopped me. He told me that he would have his son take the trash out each week since Thursday (the day the trash has to go out – pick up is very early Friday morning) is the day his son is with him and he wants the trash to be his chore. After all, a child needs chores to do and the lawn mowing and other tasks are all handled by our landlord. I told Mick that would be fine with me and I told my neighbor in the front apartment.

Well, this has worked out really well!! The trash gets taken out when needed and I am not involved in it. Hurray for me!!

Except for today. My trash needs to go out but the bins are out by the curb. I know Mick will eventually haul them back. But it is raining out and he may be waiting for it to stop. I have considered going out and hauling one of them back so I can put my trash in it but we had a little laundry situation yesterday and I don’t want to make Mick feel bad.

What was the laundry situation? We have a coin operated washer and dryer in a laundry room off the side porch. All of us who currently live here are very considerate about making sure we don’t leave laundry in the laundry room, which prevents others from doing their laundry or hogging the machines, which also prevents others from doing their laundry.

Yesterday I went to do a load of laundry and noticed that Mick had his clothes still in the dryer. The dryer was still hot so he clearly had just finished a load. Unfortunately, he was not at home. But that is ok. I have been known to start laundry and then gone off to run errands knowing I would be back close to when the laundry was done. So I went ahead and started my laundry thinking that Mick would be home at any moment to empty the dryer. Three hours later he finally came home and, about a half hour later, remembered about his laundry. I saw him head to the laundry room and I went to put my stuff in the dryer. He apologized profusely for leaving his stuff in the dryer and said the he meant to be back earlier and then, when he did get back, he had forgotten about it. I told him it was ok, no problem, I knew he would be back eventually.

So this leads to my dilemma. Mick already feels bad about tying up the dryer yesterday. I really can’t tread on his very kind and generous spirit but doing what he said he would do and haul the trash bins back. That would make him feel really bad!

But my trash needs to go out! What to do, what to do????

I just wonder if, when politeness becomes an inconvenience, one can just ignore someone else’s feelings and just take matters into their own hands. Would that be such a terrible thing?

I guess I will do the only thing I can at this point. Put the trash outside my door and hope that Mick hauls the bins up before it gets dark tonight. After all, leaving trash by my door overnight will just lead to little critters getting into it and spreading it all over the driveway. Yuck!

Sometimes it takes a conscious effort to not be overbearing and rude. I know people who would say “screw it” and just trample all over Mick’s feelings and haul the bins up themselves, probably cursing poor Mick out the whole time. But I truly can’t do that to such a nice guy. Actually, I try not to do that to anyone. Some people (my older brother) think I am a pushover but I think that a little politeness goes a long way to make life better. If we had more of it, maybe we would have less hatred and anger in the world.

Ok…now I am just getting really deep and philosophical and that is too much for a Saturday morning. I guess I’ll tie up the trash bag and put it outside and go read my paper….and hope for the best!