Dear Loud Family

My brother, Ted, and I buried my cat, Kismet, yesterday. If you recall, I lost her last January. Since the ground was frozen, I put her (in a box, of course) in Ted’s garage. I remembered last week that we hadn’t put her in the ground so yesterday I bought a couple of cherry trees and we buried her and planted a cherry tree on top. The other cherry tree went on top of Ted’s cat, Luna, who had died years ago but he had never planted a tree on top of her.

After the burial and tree planting, we cleaned up and went out to dinner. The restaurant we wanted to go to was closed for some reason so ended up driving a little farther and went to a place we have eaten at before. But the restaurant we had been to was now a new restaurant so it was actually a different experience.

We were having a pleasant meal when this family came in to eat. A husband and wife, their daughter and husband and two little kids. They were from Massachusetts…we could tell from their accents. They were also loud, obnoxious, and oblivious to everyone else in the place.

Since they seemed to be offended by the people staring and commenting at their own tables about them, I really wanted to say something to them. Tell them how rude and inconsiderate they were and how they really should be more respectful.

But I didn’t. Ted and I talked about what we would like to say but we didn’t say anything. Just didn’t want to make the situation worse or create a fuss.

The advantage to having this forum (blog) where I can express my thoughts is that I can tell them what I would have said if I had the nerve last night. So here it is, an open letter to the loud family at the restaurant last night:

Dear Loud Family:

Have you ever been out to eat before? Do you not know how to act with a little dignity and respect? No? Well, let me fill you in.

First of all, just because you are sitting around a table together does not mean you can act like you do in your own home. You are in a public place with other people. People who don’t know you, don’t care to know you and don’t care to hear your conversation. Please use your indoor voices.

Secondly, if you are holding your young daughter and she is happy, putting her in a high chair on the opposite side of the table from you will guarantee she will start crying. When she started crying, telling her that you want to eat and saying “too bad” to her over and over is completely ineffective. She didn’t look like she was older than two years old. She barely knows how to speak. She doesn’t understand a phrase like “too bad” and it is stupid to think that she would. Basically what you were teaching her was that your love for her is only available when it is convenient for you. Otherwise, she can sit down and shut up. She will remember this when she is a teenager and completely ignoring your yelling and screaming and instead will be leaving the house to drink, have sex and make you a grandmother at a young age. Can see this scenario as clear as day based on the interaction we witnessed last night.

Thirdly, when you order an opening course for all the adults at the table, you might want to consider ordering some food for the two young children at the table as well. That way they can eat something while you are eating. Making them sit there until their kid’s meals arrive is insensitive and cruel.

Lastly, getting pissed off at everyone in the restaurant watching you and listening to your conversation is pretty stupid. After all, you all were making a spectacle of yourselves. You were being loud, obnoxious and rude. If you don’t want everyone staring at you, keep your voices down, be nicer to your kids and be respectful of everyone else’s dining experience.

Oh, and by the way, for the mother of this dysfunctional family , if you had gotten out of your seat and gone to that table with the sweet little old people at it and yelled at them, like you had threatened to do (I believe you said you were going to tell them to stop gossiping and to mind their own business), I would have stopped you in mid-track and told you all of the above in person. Because I will not see you be disrespectful to people who are at least 20 years your senior and who deserve kindness and consideration. Yes, it would have created a scene but I was done with my meal at that point and wouldn’t really care. Besides it would have been fun to tell you off.

In conclusion, Loud Family, please keep this in mind the next time you are dining out. If you don’t, and you don’t learn some manners and respect, someone who doesn’t hold their tongue like I do will tell you off in person and, since you seem to have anger issues, you will probably get arrested and those two cute children will end up in foster care. Just saying.

Thank you for listening,

Julie

Like I said, I didn’t want to create a fuss last night. It was tempting but it would have made an uncomfortable situation into an awful situation and really ruin everyone’s dinner. I wish I could have thought of something simple and clever to say to the family to get them to quiet down and not disturb everyone. But nothing has come to mind so far. Everything I think of would probably have exasperated the situation. Then again, people like that probably wouldn’t have listened to anyone saying anything. I have personally known people like that and they think the world revolves around them and figure that people should just shut up and leave them alone. My response to that? Shut up and leave us alone. See? That would have just made the situation worse! I will have to keep working on the proper response. If I find it, I will post it. Until then, if you know of something to say, let me know!