Facebook Etiquette

What is the etiquette regarding accepting/rejecting friends in Facebook?  I have been rather choosy in who I ask to be my friend just because I’m not sure I want to share information with everyone out there.  My nephew currently has 579 friends.  It seems like at least once a week he is accepting a friend in Facebook, if not more often. Does he really know all these people?  I find it hard to believe although he is very popular.  Frankly I think he gets friend requests from people and just simply accepts everyone.

The reason I bring this up is because a friend I had a long time ago has asked me to accept her as a friend in Facebook.  When I say we were friends a long time ago I mean that our friendship fell apart in 2003.  We just didn’t see eye to eye on some disagreements we had and just stopped communicating.  I haven’t really thought about her in years so when the friend request came up this past weekend, I didn’t even recognize the name.  Granted, she has re-married since I saw her last but her first name and maiden name didn’t really register until I looked closely at her picture and realized who she is and how I know her.

So if I accept her as a friend in Facebook, what happens if I decide that the issues we had are still there and I don’t want to be her friend anymore?  Do I just delete her?  I had someone do that to me once because of a comment I made on her page (a comment I felt was innocent that she took badly), and it was kind of hurtful to be rejected in that manner. Or do I tell this old friend why I don’t want to be her friend anymore and then delete her?  What is the proper “Facebook” etiquette?

Of course it could turn out that she has changed and we could be friends again.  Then again, I know that I have changed since 2003 and maybe the “me” I am now will have nothing in common with who she is now.  I know that who I am now wouldn’t put up with some of the shenanigans she pulled when we were friends.  I have learned since then that a friendship is a two-way street.  That not only am I available for my friends at a moments notice but they are also available for me.  There is more I can go into but suffice to say I have learned from past friendships that help me tremendously in the relationships I have now.  I’m not sure I can go back and revive a friendship that may have just been a learning experience for me rather than a deep and abiding relationship. Some people weren’t meant to be in our lives forever.  Is this person one of those people for me?  I don’t know.

The few people I have asked about this feel I should accept her friend request, find out how she is now and what has happened in her life in the past seven years.  Then, if I don’t want to be friends with her, I can always delete her out of Facebook.  No harm, no foul.  I guess I could do that.  Maybe I’m just being overly sensitive about this and over thinking it.  Probably am.  I know that is something that I do and accept it about myself.

I think that curiosity is going to get the better of me and I will accept her as a friend and see what happens.  I do want to hear what has been going on in her life in the past seven years.  I guess that is reason enough to accept her as a friend.  Maybe someday someone will write an etiquette book on social networking.  I know that it would be very helpful in this case. It certainly might cut back on the number of arguments and misinterpreted actions that seem to permeate this form of communication.  Where is Emily Post when you need her???