Family

As I have mentioned in previous postings, I have two brothers and a sister. My younger brother is married and has two daughters and my younger sister is married and has one son and four daughters.  I am close to all of them and love them with all my heart.  They are, after all, my only immediate family since we are essentially orphans.  I know Mom and Dad died when were all adults but losing a parent at any age is difficult, as I have discovered.  People may dispute this fact and argue that losing a parent when you are child is incredibly challenging and I would agree.  But losing a parent, no matter how old you are, leaves a void in your life that will always be there.

This is all leading up to a phone call I received last night.  My mom’s older sister, Ruth, called me.  As I have also mentioned in a previous post, my mom came from a fairly large family.  There were 12 children who produced 63 grandchildren for their parents.  Since there are so many of us and we are scattered around the world, it is hard to keep track of everyone not to mention actually know everyone.  I know that I have cousins who I could meet on the street and have no idea who they are or that we share the same grandparents.

A quick example of this phenomenon and I’ll get back to my Aunt Ruth story.  At my mom’s funeral, my sister, Amy, and I were sitting with some of our aunts and an uncle looking at family pictures.  This was before the funeral and we were having a small viewing for those who wanted to pay their respects.  We had opted not to have a formal viewing the night before the funeral mostly because, well, it would be awkward and uncomfortable.  Besides, a number of the people attending the funeral would be coming in the day of the funeral so having a viewing right before the service made more sense.  So, after we had paid our respects (viewed Mom’s body), we were sitting and looking at family pictures when I noticed a man standing by the open casket.  I asked Amy if she knew who it was and she said she had no idea.  He didn’t look familiar but he seemed to really care about Mom.  After a minute or so, he came over to our table and greeted our aunts and uncle, calling them by name.  Ah…so he is a cousin.  But which one?  Finally one of our aunts said something along the line of “you remember your cousin, David?”  (She actually gave his last name too but I don’t want to invade his privacy by publishing that in my blog).  Turns out it was a cousin who was the same age I am, who I had met when we were both ten and hadn’t seen since.  Like I said, could have met him on the street and have no idea that we actually knew each other.

Back to the phone call last night.  When the caller ID came up on my TV (now you know the kind of cable service I have), and it showed who was calling, my first thought was that someone had died. After all, it seems like whenever I get a call or letter from a relative I haven’t heard from in a long time, it is to report that someone has passed away.  I hadn’t spoken with Aunt Ruth since my mom’s funeral so it was a logical assumption.  Turns out she was calling to tell me she likes my blog.  I had sent her a link to it when I posted on my mom’s birthday and she was letting me know that she likes to read it.

It was wonderful to hear from her.  Out of all of my mom’s siblings, I probably feel closest to Aunt Ruth.  They (Aunt Ruth, Uncle Rusty and their kids) lived in the Detroit area for much of the time that we were living there so we would see each other fairly frequently.  I enjoyed talking with her and getting caught up on what is happening in her life and in the lives of her children and grandchildren.  But the conversation reminded me that she and Uncle Rusty are getting on in years and I may want to go to Michigan and visit with them sometime soon.  Maybe Amy and I can go see them the next time I go and visit her.

All of this makes me envious of people who live in close proximity to their families.  I think it would be wonderful to live in the same area as my siblings, aunts, uncles and cousins.  To have regular Sunday dinners, celebrate birthdays and anniversaries, get together on holidays and for summertime barbecues.  Even to have a regular yearly family reunion so that we would actually know each other better rather than just meeting at weddings and funerals.  I suppose that people who have this sort of family life may long for a life where the whole family didn’t know all the aspects of their lives and that there was more privacy.  This is probably a case of “the grass is always greener”.  Still, having that kind of family connection would make being an orphan easier to bear.  Maybe the void would be a little less empty.  Oh well.  The only way that could possibly happen is for everyone to move to Maine.  And the chance of that happening is probably along the lines of me winning the lottery.  In other words, not a chance since I never buy lottery tickets.  As I said.  Oh well.