Cynics

I don’t understand some people. I really don’t.

I do understand that some people are just negative people. That they see the glass as half empty and sometimes as “my glass is half empty and someone stole the other half”. They are just generally cynical people.

But, when these “Negative Nancys” are talking to someone who is full of hope, dreams and trying to build a future for themselves, why do they find it necessary to try to tear them down? Why do they find it necessary to try to make the dreamers of the world face the worse of reality?

As I have mentioned, I am currently unemployed. Although I am applying for jobs and have gone on a couple of interviews, there really aren’t a whole lot of jobs out there. In the interest that my unemployment will run out sometime, I am working on starting my own business as a baker. I know that if I get offered a job, I can always put the business aside but, if a job doesn’t come along, I do need to do something to support myself.

I LOVE baking and cooking. I am the most happy when I am in a kitchen and creating something wonderful to eat. And, thankfully, I am blessed with the talent to do it. I do know that the things I do create are delicious and people really enjoy eating what I create.

I had heard that a local bookstore may have kitchen that I could lease. I am unable to use the kitchen in my apartment mostly because my kitchen is essentially a room with appliances in it but also because I have a cat. I do have a kitchen that I can use but that is only part time. It would be nice to have a kitchen to use full time so I can work at any time.

So I went to this bookstore today and talked to the owner. Unfortunately he has changed his bookstore around and removed the kitchen. But, that wasn’t the worse thing.

What was worse was that he was a major Negative Nancy. A real Debbie Downer. A cynic.

He and I talked for quite a while and I heard the big tale about how he had a successful bakery in NY for nine years. Very successful with 80 commercial customers and a thriving storefront. Then he sold the bakery and moved his family to Maine to open a bakery here. He and his family ran this new bakery for one year before they ended up selling it. It just wasn’t as profitable as the one in NY. He then proceeded to tell me that the bakery here in Maine was sold to a woman who didn’t really like to bake but wanted to run a business. She hired a professional baker and her business thrived. Then she sold it to someone who didn’t know how to run a business and he ended up going bankrupt in just a couple of years. The bakery is now gone.

It was interesting to hear the history of this business. I had always wondered what happened to that bakery. I had enjoyed eating there and it seemed to be successful. But there was a story behind it and now I have heard that story.

If that wasn’t bad enough, this cynical man proceeded to tell me all the reasons why I was going to fail. All the things that could go wrong. All the mistakes I could make and I will end up bankrupt and out of business. I tried pointing out to him why he was wrong but he didn’t really care to listen. He was determined to share his negative point of view and crush my dreams. I ended up driving home feeling incredibly depressed and sad. Since I can’t find a job and this guy feels I will fail at my own business, what in the world am I going to do? Live in my van and beg for money?

After sitting at home for a while feeling sad, my brother e-mailed me and said he finished my website and it was up and running. That cheered me up. Then, in talking to him tonight, he pointed out that I shouldn’t be listening to someone who was just being cynical because he (the cynic) made huge mistakes and bad choices and failed himself. Just because he did doesn’t mean that anyone else would.

Good point. My brother made me feel much better and I am back on track.

What I don’t understand is why people behave this way? This debbie downer guy isn’t the only one who has done this to me. I know other people who have been free with their negative advice. It’s like they feel like they need to make me face reality. Like they have this overwhelming need to make sure I know that I could fail and why I could fail.

The thing is these thoughts have crossed my mind thousands of times over the past several months. I am fully aware that many businesses fail. I am aware that mistakes can be made, things can go against me and I could end up out of business. My head is not in the clouds and I am not living in a world of unicorns and rainbows. I am perfectly aware how risky it is to start any business.

But businesses do succeed. If they didn’t, there wouldn’t be any businesses anywhere. If it wasn’t possible to successfully run a business, then malls would be pretty empty.

I guess it boils down to this: If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. After all, sharing your cynical insight may give you a feeling of superiority but it will bring down all who listen to you so keep your negative points of view to yourself. Please.