Motivation

Why is it we do what we do? What motivates us?

I was lying in bed just now thinking about the events of the last week and of this past day and contemplating why I do what I do. Of course, all this contemplation was preventing me from going to sleep so I decided to get up and write down my thoughts.

Over the course of the past week or so, it seems like I have been incredibly busy with church work. I am Worship Assistant this month which means that I can’t hang out in the balcony running the power points during the service. Instead I need to be down front assisting Pastor with the service while someone else runs the power point. I still am creating the power points (one for the service and one for the announcements) so I need to arrive at church early enough to turn on the projector, start the computer, load the power point, do a quick run through and final edits, set the timings on the announcement power point (since it loops over and over for about fifteen minutes before the service), turn on the sound system, check the batteries in Pastor’s microphone, check the other microphones, adjust an sound levels and then, finally, put on my robe and go over the service and my prayers once last time before the service starts.

I enjoy serving as Worship Assistant because I like to write prayers, I enjoy reading the Bible out loud and I get satisfaction in helping serve God and the congregation this way.

Then last Saturday was the bean supper. The once a month free meal that I am in charge of and where I end up spending the whole day at church cooking the beans and making pies and organizing the dinner. It is quite exhausting but satisfying because I love to cook and bake, I like the idea that we are giving everyone a free meal and people seem to really enjoy it.

Then, this past Monday, it was our Friendship Lunch. The once a month free lunch that my friend started and I have been assisting with, along with a number of other volunteers. So that meant that last Monday, I was down at church early helping prepare the food, set up the tables and assisting in serving and cleaning up. Again, I like the idea that we are giving everyone a free meal and people seem to really enjoy it.

Then there was Bible Class on Wednesday which is a wonderful time of checking in with everyone’s lives and praying for them, studying the Bible and thinking about situations in a while new way. I have really been enjoying the time with friends who attend the Bible Study and it is a wonderful way to transition from the beginning of a week to the end of a week.

Then, also this past Wednesday, we had a pot luck at church that culminated in viewing slides of someone’s trip around the Pacific rim (the first half). My contribution to the pot luck was éclairs and cream puffs with strawberry cream inside. Took me all afternoon to make them but people loved them and that made me happy.

Today we had a memorial service at church. I had volunteered to create a power point of pictures of Natalie’s life (Natalie being the woman who had gone to heaven). When I saw how few pictures I had been given (when I was first given pictures), I suggested that we intersperse the pictures with Natalie’s favorite Bible verses. The power point ended up being 40 slides long with a slide with a picture of flowers (either African violets or tulips) with the Bible readings on them after every fourth picture slide. It really turned out to be a lovely presentation and I received a large number of complements on it, which made me happy.

I also made potato salad for the reception after the memorial service. I think everyone liked that since it was all eaten. Actually I did receive some complements on it so it did turn out well. That also made me happy.

In thinking about all of this, all of this that transpired recently, I started thinking about why I do what I do. What motivates me? Is it because I want to help? Is it because I feel obligated? Is it because I am hoping for praise and recognition? Is it for selfish motivations or selfless motivations?

I don’t know. I would like to say, in a good Christian way but without bragging, that I am doing it to serve God and because He has blessed me with talents that I feel He wants me to share with others. But is that really why?

Do I do it because no one else is able to do it? Is it out of obligation? Guilt? Feelings that people will think I am lazy and/or selfish if I don’t do the things I do?

I honestly don’t know. Maybe it’s a combination of everything. Maybe it is for reasons that I don’t know about but will occur to me someday.

I had heard it said before that there is not such thing as a selfless act. That even things that seem selfless are motivated by the person’s desire to feel good about helping or from trying to avoid feelings of guilt for not helping. Either way, all acts are done for selfish reasons.

I don’t think that is entirely true. There has to be some selfless acts in the world. Someone throwing themselves on a grenade in war time has to be selfless since the person really didn’t have time to contemplate their motivations for doing so. It is more of an instinctive act done by someone who is willing to sacrifice themselves for others.

I have a feeling that this motivation question is going to puzzle me for a while. I am hoping at the end of my contemplation, I will either find out that I am doing what I do for altruistic reasons or that from this point forward, that will be my motivation. Either way, at this point in time, I am happy I can help and feel blessed to be a help to others. I guess that is motivation enough for now.