Spell that name

When I was at the grocery store earlier today, I noticed that one of the clerks scanning someone’s groceries was named Linzey. Really? Not Lindsey? Not Lindsay? But LINZEY? Why, oh why, did her parents do that to her???

I ask this question because my dad did it to me. My brothers and sister all have normal names. Names that are spelled the way you would think and don’t require explanation. Ted, Dave, Amy. Simple and plain. My dad didn’t spell Ted with an extra “D”. Didn’t spell Dave with any strange variations. Didn’t spell Amy as “Aimee”.

But when Dad named me, he decided to make it interesting. My dad is half Dutch so he decided to name me after Queen Juliana of The Netherlands. Her full name is Juliana Louise Emma Marie Wilhelmina. Dad chose the Juliana and Marie for my name but decided that he didn’t want it to be Juliana. He decided to change the “a” at the end to an “e”. But did he add another “n” to the name so it would be Julianne? No. Of course not. He decided it looked more interesting with one “n”.

The thing is that because of that decision to make it look more interesting, he caused me to spend the rest of my life spelling my name for people. I can’t just say Juliane because people will want to spell it “Julianne” or “Julie Ann”. So I am constantly explaining “it’s Juliane, with one “n”, one name. JULIANE”. It is, needless to say…annoying.

What really got me was my dad would frequently forget how to spell my name. He called me, as did the rest of my family (except Mom), Julie. So when he had to write down my given name, he would say: “How did I spell you name? Didn’t I spell it differently?”. Why, yes, Dad, you spelled it with one “n”, thank you very much!!

I understand why parents would want to spell their children’s names in a different way. It sets them apart. It makes them unique. That is completely understandable.

But what parents don’t take in account is the annoyance factor. Do you really want to have your child spend the rest of their lives having to spell their name for people? Do you really want them to be that annoyed their whole life? “Yes, my name is Linzey…let me spell that for you”. “My name is Jamie but it is spelled Jaymee”. “Yes, my name is Sean but it is spelled Shawn”

I knew a girl in college who had a unique name. The first day of class, the professor was calling the roll and said her name. Her parents had been hippies so her given name was something like Sunshine Rainbow. When the professor said her name, she said in a very firm voice, “my name is Ann”. The professor said, “Not Sunshine Rainbow?” and she said, “no, it is Ann and I only answer to Ann.” She decided, after years of dealing with a unique name, she would just be known as Ann. Simple and plain.

I can understand her point of view. The whole time I was growing up, I went by Juliane (outside of my immediate family, excluding Mom, of course). There were always other Julies around and it was less confusing if I went by Juliane. When I grew up, I went by Juliane because it sounded more professional. But when I joined my church, I introduced myself as Julie. Just Julie. Now, for the most part, I go by Julie. Simple and plain. And everyone knows how to spell it.

So, for all the people out there who are trying to think of a name for their child, please weigh all the factors. Not just whether it goes with your last name or whether or not it can be made into a rhyme on the playground. But also consider the annoyance factor. Do you really want your child to have to spell their unique name their whole entire life? Do you really want to inflict that on them? If you don’t care, then go ahead and give your child a name that may sound one way but is spelled a different way or is completely unique so they will be the only one in their class (and possibly the world) with that name. But, keep in mind, they may grow up to resent it and may just simplify it on their own. And, when they do, don’t take it as an insult. Just accept the fact that they were tired of being annoyed. That is all.