Friendship

I have been thinking about friends lately, old and new. I have a number of really close friends who I love and cherish. Some of my friends are brand new, meaning I have recently met them and became instant friends. Some are people I have known for years through church and then found out that we actually had stuff in common and an acquaintance developed into a solid friendship.

Then there is my oldest friend. She isn’t the oldest in terms of being so much older than I am but, in fact, is just 9 months younger than me. Mary and I have been friends since she was born. I was born in February and she was born in November. Her dad and my dad were friends for a long time before either one of them got married. That friendship didn’t end when they both met and married their respective wives and had children. In fact, it was such a solid friendship that Mary’s parents were Aunt Harriet and Uncle Duncan to me and my parents were Aunt Eve and Uncle Bill to her.

Mary and I grew up together and, especially in the summer, would visit with each other on weekends when our families would get together. Her family lived in Warren and we lived in Detroit so we would take turns driving to each other’s houses to barbecue and visit. Although there was one time when her family drove to our house and we drove to their house on the same Sunday. I’m sure my dad left his usual note on their door “We were here and you were not. Now you are here and we are not!” I guess we learned that we really should call and coordinate things a little better. Mary and I remember riding our bikes together, singing together, having sleep overs, playing games and all the other fun summertime activities. We were very close and enjoyed sharing the secrets that girls share with each other when giggling together.

When we were both 15 (actually I was 15, Mary was still 14), my family moved to Nebraska. This was in the days before the Internet and e-mail. We tried writing letters back and forth but in the busyness of being teenagers, that gradually faded away and we lost touch. I thought about her often through the years. Wondered where she was, what she was doing, did she go to college, get married, have kids, where was she living, etc. But I never seemed to take the time to try to track her down.

When my mom died, my sister put her obituary in the Detroit newspaper. We received an e-mail through the funeral home from Mary. What a wonderful surprise!! After all the years we were able to re-connect. We started sending long e-mails back and forth catching up on our lives. Filling in decades worth of living is taking time and we are constantly finding out new things about each other. We even talked on the phone once and it was like we had never lost touch. We chatted away for hours until we both realized it was really late and we had jobs to do in the morning. Mary and I both fully intend on meeting in person soon and I’m sure that it will be like it was when we were kids. Giggling, chatting and picking up right where we left off so many years ago.

Friendship to me is an interesting thing. What causes two people to connect? How can you know someone for years and then develop a deep friendship? How can two people lose touch with each other for years and still have a deep friendship when they meet again? Why do some people enter our lives, seem like really close friends, and then drift away? It’s fascinating for me to think about. I wish I knew what the formula was or how to make it happen. Then again, I guess that is the surprise and excitement of Life. You never know who you will meet and how they will impact your life. I’m just very grateful for the friends, old and new, that I do have and will always cherish them and appreciate the impact they have had on my life.